At times,
Muted by the winter's snow
Baked by the summer's spell
Choked by the colours of spring
The naive man screams -
Does the sun
Burn in distress
To provide warmth
For those embracing it!
We don't know!
Does the moon
Shiver in isolation
To provide faith
For the hopeful souls!
We don't know!
Does the wind
Blow in turbulence
To provide purpose
For the drifting sails!
We don't know!
Not the answers!
The questions!
Not the autumn!
The fall!
Sunday, 24 April 2016
Friday, 22 April 2016
Time
Kindly bear with me.
Today, I got to experience my favourite phenomenon. It's ephemeral. It is. It's rare. Goosebumps. I first noticed it at an extremely young age and I've been passively seeking for it ever since. When I do see it, I just feel engulfed. With wonder. With mystery. With strange hues. With nostalgia. With understanding. With patience. Everything turns brownish pink. Everything. It gives me hope. Endless hope. It's there! See it. I believe in endless hope. I want the world to believe in endless hope.
Why is it so difficult to explain!
I meant what I said. I just want people to know and understand.
Kindly bear with me.
Today, I got to experience my favourite phenomenon. It's ephemeral. It is. It's rare. Goosebumps. I first noticed it at an extremely young age and I've been passively seeking for it ever since. When I do see it, I just feel engulfed. With wonder. With mystery. With strange hues. With nostalgia. With understanding. With patience. Everything turns brownish pink. Everything. It gives me hope. Endless hope. It's there! See it. I believe in endless hope. I want the world to believe in endless hope.
Why is it so difficult to explain!
I meant what I said. I just want people to know and understand.
Kindly bear with me.
These are unedited.
Wednesday, 20 April 2016
Sunday, 17 April 2016
"Never grow up, always down."
Yes, again.
I've given some thought before saying this - My mind feels distant and offbeat as I grow older. Slower. Cloudier. Duller. I can feel it. I don't think it's about it being heavy and stocked with more things (hopefully beneficial). It feels like it's anchored to my own judgement about myself. It's chained by the delusion of phantom expectations, the worry of silent disappointments, and the fear of meeting my potential, face to face.
The air used to be lighter.
Where are the old colours I used to see?
I've given some thought before saying this - My mind feels distant and offbeat as I grow older. Slower. Cloudier. Duller. I can feel it. I don't think it's about it being heavy and stocked with more things (hopefully beneficial). It feels like it's anchored to my own judgement about myself. It's chained by the delusion of phantom expectations, the worry of silent disappointments, and the fear of meeting my potential, face to face.
The air used to be lighter.
Where are the old colours I used to see?
Sunday, 10 April 2016
Nobody
I had a meaningful childhood. I respect and admire the kid 'me'. Here's why.
My first gaming platform was the SEGA console. Super Mario Bros 3. Contra. Rockman. I mastered an important life skill - blowing into cartridges. These 3 games were superb.
My second was the PlayStation. Had it as a post-sunat gift when I was 4 - 5 years old. I remember coming home after sunat in my kain to see the console already running with my first ever PS1 game called 'Klonoa'. It is a wonder how my mom found her way through the Japanese game menu to enter the first stage. I had (have) a million games. Some of the games are extremely special and meaningful to me.
Reel fishing. Tomba 2. Puzzle Bubble. Bomberman. Gran Turismo. Tarzan. Dragonball Z. Monster Rancher. Toys Story 2. Digimon World.
I had (have) a million games. Yes, I keep them. Most of the games are still playable. Yes, my PS1 still works.
My third gaming platform was the GameBoy Colour. I had the original gameboy with black and white screen, but it wasn't mine, so it wasn't of meaning to me. GBC had its own.. colour in my life. Pokemon Blue. Pokemon Crystal.
My fourth was the PlayStation 2. Spiderman 2 was my first game. I remember the first night with the game. Actually, I remember how these special games made me feel. I treasure these meaningful sentiments. Kingdom Hearts 2. Harvest Moon: A wonderful life. The list goes on.
My gaming life continued on PC but something got left behind. Something stopped. It was never quite the same. I grew up? I don't believe in that conventionalized claim. I read about it recently. Growing up feels like it's about shaking things off. Growing up feels like a process of finding out who and what we're meant to be in the first place.
Wonder. Curiosity. Humility. Instinct. Trust. Passion. Constant. Renewal. Fears. Confidence. Intuition. Confusion. Uniqueness. Meaning. Independence. Purity.
I feel like sharing.
I think I'm tired.
I feel special.
I think I shall stop sharing.
My first gaming platform was the SEGA console. Super Mario Bros 3. Contra. Rockman. I mastered an important life skill - blowing into cartridges. These 3 games were superb.
My second was the PlayStation. Had it as a post-sunat gift when I was 4 - 5 years old. I remember coming home after sunat in my kain to see the console already running with my first ever PS1 game called 'Klonoa'. It is a wonder how my mom found her way through the Japanese game menu to enter the first stage. I had (have) a million games. Some of the games are extremely special and meaningful to me.
Reel fishing. Tomba 2. Puzzle Bubble. Bomberman. Gran Turismo. Tarzan. Dragonball Z. Monster Rancher. Toys Story 2. Digimon World.
I had (have) a million games. Yes, I keep them. Most of the games are still playable. Yes, my PS1 still works.
My third gaming platform was the GameBoy Colour. I had the original gameboy with black and white screen, but it wasn't mine, so it wasn't of meaning to me. GBC had its own.. colour in my life. Pokemon Blue. Pokemon Crystal.
My fourth was the PlayStation 2. Spiderman 2 was my first game. I remember the first night with the game. Actually, I remember how these special games made me feel. I treasure these meaningful sentiments. Kingdom Hearts 2. Harvest Moon: A wonderful life. The list goes on.
My gaming life continued on PC but something got left behind. Something stopped. It was never quite the same. I grew up? I don't believe in that conventionalized claim. I read about it recently. Growing up feels like it's about shaking things off. Growing up feels like a process of finding out who and what we're meant to be in the first place.
Wonder. Curiosity. Humility. Instinct. Trust. Passion. Constant. Renewal. Fears. Confidence. Intuition. Confusion. Uniqueness. Meaning. Independence. Purity.
I feel like sharing.
I think I'm tired.
I feel special.
I think I shall stop sharing.
Saturday, 9 April 2016
Hujan yang turun bagaikan samurai smell
Questions. Ask her questions. Learn about her. Learn from her. Be curious about her. Be interested with her past. Only child. Only one.
Just got to know my mom's favourite song from Arwah Sudirman. I was pleasantly surprised. It's my favourite from him too.
Just got to know my mom's favourite song from Arwah Sudirman. I was pleasantly surprised. It's my favourite from him too.
Hujan yang turun bagaikan mutiara
Berkilau bersinar berkerdipan
Subur menghijau bumi terbentang
Dan bayu berpuput lembut
Tuesday, 5 April 2016
Saturday, 2 April 2016
All, in relation to nothing
"Sometimes we forget what we believed in, and other times, we forget what we believe in."
"Know our bearings when we stand, as courage comes to those standing for truth in the right direction. And if you are to see your feet in the clear waters, have patience. The sand takes time to settle."
"The archetypal 'X' on our treasure map is the point where we stop questioning everyone and everything else. It lies within. Things get progressively unclear when we have layered decorations for what we want to feel, achieve and receive. It creates a gap between one's real and declared aims, turning it into a breeding ground for shrouded insincerity. And when visitors come knocking on our sanctuary, it's all swept under the rug. At times, reasons which seem justifiable with a fingersnap cause us to cringe when we recall about it. But slowly, we naturally grow to be better at things. Call it maturity. Yes. But essentially, isn't it the achievement of lucidity? It gets clearer when our lenses are clean. It doesn't make sense to walk away from our inner selves or distract our eyes with what we fabricate to see. Observe the veiled battle between the conscious and the subconscious, and pick both sides."
"It's amazing how complexity pays attention to itself and silently jades into simplicity. So dream, and trace the roots. Have the dignity of a fallen leaf when autumn's due. Come back, and crawl through the gates again. Progress, not perfection."
"Behold the belittled lily, purple heather and burgundy rose, for they give us hope to find contentment in our own novelty."
"Fly, little wing
Ride the waves of abiding faith
Across the old slumbering shore
With voiceless emotions of the setting sun
Till the heart finds a familiar cure"
"Our heart is filled with beautiful abstractness that we should learn to understand its rightful design before anything else. It isn't our duty to question other people's sincerity. And if it's ours that is doubted, take it as internal guidance. Nobody's perfect - A beautiful phrase of tremendous honesty, yet we can't accept it when others present it to us. Rather than questioning their rights, give honest thanks to them. They don't control what we lose, neither do we control what they lose. Keep a polite distance if you wish and let the light of your heart shine truth in what they're permitted to see."
"Moonlight: Oh sweet-toothed society. Don't let the ants crawl onto our black stones."
"Pride blinds the ability to see the truth in us. This realization and admittance can never be forced; only independence grants us freedom to our true needs."
"It is the nature of man to appreciate this beauty of inner perfection. He'll dedicate a personal trust in his judgement on what he sees, but what if he discovers a flaw in it? The way he responds, tilts on the equilibrium of his emotions. If he feels that his trust was betrayed, he'll question his judgement and becomes blind to everything else. While if he chooses to only be disappointed on the illusory perfection, he'll see the major goodness which still remains. If permitted to, I'll choose the latter."
"I've flipped my canvas into an empty page. Last year, I learnt that perfection can never be shown, only discovered. And only discovery itself, defines perfection in this world."
"Perfection in a team can never exist. As long as we physically share a different set of heart, body and brain, perfection itself becomes an ideal. To strive towards it as a team, a group, and even as a family - I learn that patience, wisdom, trust and commitment are truly needed. Leading is like giving a paper boat a push, with hope that it reaches a specific destination at the other side of the lake. The slightest bit of action defines the present, and it determines the future. O Almighty, I believe in Your Guidance."
"I don't think a leader would seek for sympathy. Instead he should search for himself in times of adversity. I'm lost. But I'm actually glad I feel like a wanderer at this present moment."
"There's something uniquely peaceful about this midnight rain. It makes us understand."
"Everyone's given a compass. Some may have lost it, but it's an excuse to lose ourselves in this one time journey. Anything can be a form of guidance when you walk with an open mind. A fallen twig's shadow can show you the way in the morning. Navigate after the Big Dipper or the Polaris at night and you'll do fine. Life's hidden beauty is unlocked by a humble heart, a pristine will and nothing else. Some seek for gold treasures at a far away island, while all the treasures that they need are sitting at their own backyard. Some see it, others don't. It's a unique set of treasure that can never be shared but can only be tasted alone. A treasure that can't be measured by weight or gold - words don't describe it, only experiences do."
"O night, bring to the earth the quiet charm of your mystery."
"At the end of the day, it's simply being who I am at the moment."
"Know our bearings when we stand, as courage comes to those standing for truth in the right direction. And if you are to see your feet in the clear waters, have patience. The sand takes time to settle."
"The archetypal 'X' on our treasure map is the point where we stop questioning everyone and everything else. It lies within. Things get progressively unclear when we have layered decorations for what we want to feel, achieve and receive. It creates a gap between one's real and declared aims, turning it into a breeding ground for shrouded insincerity. And when visitors come knocking on our sanctuary, it's all swept under the rug. At times, reasons which seem justifiable with a fingersnap cause us to cringe when we recall about it. But slowly, we naturally grow to be better at things. Call it maturity. Yes. But essentially, isn't it the achievement of lucidity? It gets clearer when our lenses are clean. It doesn't make sense to walk away from our inner selves or distract our eyes with what we fabricate to see. Observe the veiled battle between the conscious and the subconscious, and pick both sides."
"It's amazing how complexity pays attention to itself and silently jades into simplicity. So dream, and trace the roots. Have the dignity of a fallen leaf when autumn's due. Come back, and crawl through the gates again. Progress, not perfection."
"Behold the belittled lily, purple heather and burgundy rose, for they give us hope to find contentment in our own novelty."
"Fly, little wing
Ride the waves of abiding faith
Across the old slumbering shore
With voiceless emotions of the setting sun
Till the heart finds a familiar cure"
"Our heart is filled with beautiful abstractness that we should learn to understand its rightful design before anything else. It isn't our duty to question other people's sincerity. And if it's ours that is doubted, take it as internal guidance. Nobody's perfect - A beautiful phrase of tremendous honesty, yet we can't accept it when others present it to us. Rather than questioning their rights, give honest thanks to them. They don't control what we lose, neither do we control what they lose. Keep a polite distance if you wish and let the light of your heart shine truth in what they're permitted to see."
"Moonlight: Oh sweet-toothed society. Don't let the ants crawl onto our black stones."
"Pride blinds the ability to see the truth in us. This realization and admittance can never be forced; only independence grants us freedom to our true needs."
"It is the nature of man to appreciate this beauty of inner perfection. He'll dedicate a personal trust in his judgement on what he sees, but what if he discovers a flaw in it? The way he responds, tilts on the equilibrium of his emotions. If he feels that his trust was betrayed, he'll question his judgement and becomes blind to everything else. While if he chooses to only be disappointed on the illusory perfection, he'll see the major goodness which still remains. If permitted to, I'll choose the latter."
"I've flipped my canvas into an empty page. Last year, I learnt that perfection can never be shown, only discovered. And only discovery itself, defines perfection in this world."
"Perfection in a team can never exist. As long as we physically share a different set of heart, body and brain, perfection itself becomes an ideal. To strive towards it as a team, a group, and even as a family - I learn that patience, wisdom, trust and commitment are truly needed. Leading is like giving a paper boat a push, with hope that it reaches a specific destination at the other side of the lake. The slightest bit of action defines the present, and it determines the future. O Almighty, I believe in Your Guidance."
"I don't think a leader would seek for sympathy. Instead he should search for himself in times of adversity. I'm lost. But I'm actually glad I feel like a wanderer at this present moment."
"There's something uniquely peaceful about this midnight rain. It makes us understand."
"Everyone's given a compass. Some may have lost it, but it's an excuse to lose ourselves in this one time journey. Anything can be a form of guidance when you walk with an open mind. A fallen twig's shadow can show you the way in the morning. Navigate after the Big Dipper or the Polaris at night and you'll do fine. Life's hidden beauty is unlocked by a humble heart, a pristine will and nothing else. Some seek for gold treasures at a far away island, while all the treasures that they need are sitting at their own backyard. Some see it, others don't. It's a unique set of treasure that can never be shared but can only be tasted alone. A treasure that can't be measured by weight or gold - words don't describe it, only experiences do."
"O night, bring to the earth the quiet charm of your mystery."
"At the end of the day, it's simply being who I am at the moment."
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