Wireless with the wire yaww

No Wireless?

No Problem.

10 metres LAN cable. Uh huh. Oh yeahh.
Still maintaining the speed of hardwired connection.

And now, the hall TV is my monitor. (:

And yep. A black magic woman.

4 hours of blue sky today!

Went cycling at east coast this morning.

Watched a few airplane take-offs. (:

Got scared by a chicken at the ulu forest trail before the airport stretch.

Yes. A chicken! With the eerie 'perrkkaaaaoookkk' sound.

Hahahaha. Lame photos. 2 megapix no zoom camera. Hard hard ;P

And I've been thinking twice about buying the Dslr.

Not quite sure actually now. I guess it's just impulse.

  

   

The safra resort country club looks good ):

Every cloud has a silver lining. Every silver lining has a cloud, too.

Someone told me long ago, there's a calm before the storm.
I know it's been coming for some time.
When it's over, so they say, It'll rain on a sunny day.
I know - Shinin' down like water.

Yesterday and days before, sun is cold and rain is hard.
I know, been that way for all my time.
'Til forever, on it goes, through the circle of fast and slow.
I know it can't stop..

I wonder.

Ancient Siol!

National Finals 2006

Best VS squad

(Sorry, have to say it)

I promised them a thousand letters

And here I am, writing to them only for special days and events.

They're my close buddies and my all time fav cousins.
They're the ones who made me smile during my childhood.
They made me learn through my childish mistakes.
But they also tease me to push me to my limits in whatever stuffs I do.
They made me cry whenever I lost to them, and I even ran out of the house at 2am. (when I lost to them in table tennis at home lol!!)
I'll never forget that night.

And I found out one day that it's all deliberately planned. Not that they made a huge meeting or anything luh to do this to me. But I guess it's just a simple, hey, can you take care of Azmi for us?

Some of the elderly folks in my family and extended family wanted them to do that to me. Surprised? Odd? I don't think so :P


I was an ultra cry baby + spoilt child + weak combo mega meal set.

But I realized one day, that I was growing to be mentally stronger and more tolerant due to their mean actions. And I must say, I'm thankful for it. Really.

Ahh, good times.
(yeah try saying that last time when you're crying in front of them xD)

They'll tease when I'm playing soccer with them.
(Haha back then I really can't kick!)
They'll tease me (extreme) when I lose to them in PS2 games, carrom, chess, checkers - anything really.

"Uh oh losing alr sia someone!!"
"Hahaha cannot aim!"
"Looooserrzzxczxcz"

But.

But. They're extremely nice people. Extremely. They took great care of me. Bring me out and treat me meals, have a walk at Changi (airport and changi beach - all time fav spot, last time)

At that time, I was really confused. Why are they so mean but nice at the same time!

But now, I know. It's for a good reason.

Maybe their way of treating me might not work out well for different people, but man, I'm really really thankful.


And now, in times of need for support, I'm not there for them.


4 years ago, I promised them a thousand.
Now, I'm ashamed at the actual number I've given to them.

Be grateful. And show it.

Morning Rain

Very pretty.

It's like snowing.

Me like!

Just want you to know

"A mother understands what a child does not say"

I can't recall a moment in my life saying that three words to my mom.

I hope she knows.

Somehow.

Yeah, through my constant wrong doings.



For those of us with the opportunity to experience a morning of eidulfitri,
do we actually mean what we say - When we're down on our knees, humbled,

in front of the most important girl in our world?

I hate the mornings of eidulfitri. I'll always end up embarrassing myself.

I just hope that it's not too late, for us all.

Nothing's wrong, right?

-cavemanboon, Flickr

It's perfect weather today.

Blue Sky. Sun's not strong. Windy.

I'll pay the reservoir a visit later.
Besides, I've to check myself for Monday. Can't wait.

It has been ages since my last competitive one.
Ahhh~ don't want to disappoint the team.

Morale and momentum are really crucial for them around this period.

I think the reservoir's just over-hyped lahh. It's usually suicide and stuffs. Not a murderer camping behind trees and pouncing on people or anything.................... right?


Right?


Yeah, some linked it to the spiritual world, but man,

I'll just keep an open mind.


Besides, I'll have this song to save me.

Love the chorus.

Sometimes

I just want to give the middle finger to myself.

Throw away all those crap and be my old me.

Forever Young

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone's different. Unique. And we should appreciate this blessed diversity. Differences do bring about hatred, misunderstanding, agony and more significantly, prejudice. Some may wish to have a perfect world, where there's one ideology, a common belief, with the same 'type' of humans so that everything's just...... Perfect.

But I think differences are just innocent factors. You don't have to do that. You don't have to force them to be like yourselves. You don't have to only like them when they're sharing your spectacles, wear the same thinking hats or listen to the same set of tunes (but must still ban out certain songs/groups, for me xD). Respect the differences. Respect the paths and choices they take (good ones).

Walk a mile in their shoes. You'll never know. (Uh oh, I think I'm guilty)

Some are like water, some are like the heat

Some are melodies, some are the beat

Sooner or later they'll all be gone

Why don't they stay young?

There are those who hate one another with a passion. There are those who create a contrast greater than black and white. And the finger's pointed to - differences, once again. Differences can complement. Without differences, a team will never succeed. Without differences, we'll never gain in knowledge. Don't hate them, it'll bring no good to both parties. Being a little more open-minded won't hurt, right? (ah hear that, Azmi)

In short, let's be nice to everyone we meet, shall we? And especially so, to our beloved parents. Separations will occur, and we don't want to live, or die, with regret latching on. When it's our turn to sit on the rocking chair, we're not capable of doing anything, except to hit the replay button on our head. It will seriously suck to have bad memories that hit the living daylights out of your guilty conscience and you'll just be there, helplessly stoning on a chair.

xD

It's so hard to get old without a cause

I don't want to perish like a fading voice

Youth is like diamonds in the sun

and diamonds are forever

Many want to remembered as great individuals, respectable leaders, world heroes, instrumental teachers, loving parents, sincere friends and the list goes on. This is going to sound cheesy as heck, but seriously, have you ever wondered about your purpose here? I know I have questioned myself a few times, but sadly with no answers. Hahaha. But I'll actively work for it, and you should too. I'm privileged to be given a name that has a useful meaning. And as a start, I'll try my best to live with that responsibility. (Just curious, what's the meaning of your names? Haha gogogo write at the tagboard -->>)

Being remembered is actually nothing, as compared to living a legacy behind. We can be remembered by our words and what we preach, but I think you'll agree with me that actions do speak louder than words. Have you met people that reprimand you, but they themselves do it? Their words will be meaningless. There are parents who flood their children with advice and verbal lessons, and there are parents who may speak nothing except through their actions. Don't have to guess which one's better, right?

For every step you take, you'll ripple out a chain of events that will make tomorrow's world a different place. That's............ huge. ;D

We learn the most and grow to live by what we understand during our era of adolescence. Mentality and character are difficult to change once we step into adulthood (that's what they say). Perhaps due to the lack of time, or the "Im-an-adult-and-I-know-what-Im-doing" perception. Of all the stages in life, I think we'll remember Youth, and it's lessons, the most.

We're 18 years of age. The time's ticking.

So many adventures couldn't happen today

So many songs that we forgot to play

So many dreams swinging out of the blue

We let them come true

The stage of youth contains tons of experiences, too much in fact, that we tend to miss them. The special thing's about this stage- we can never repeat the richness and exact quality of fun when we grow old. I'll miss running around being chased by my friends to be dunked into the school pond, I'll miss running around at the playgrounds, I'll miss narrating my own plot with my set of toys and figurines.

Some are not as lucky. Parents that never grant them their materialistic toy wishes, parents that may make their kids feel like prisoners, parents that spoil their kid's development, etc.

I truly believe that our period of adolescence will be in general, the most cherished. Regardless of the tone of our youth, when we have a family in time to come, we should never forget to give the kids a youth to be remembered ;D Nah just sayin', coz adults today are getting occupied with work, too occupied in fact. Just afraid that thing's gonna get worse when it's our turn to pay the bills.

Forever young, I want to be forever young

Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever?

Pre-U education's over. Ah, it just makes me feel less.. childish (though I'm still watching old power rangers and stuffs HAHA) I think those of you who read this blog, know pretty well that I'm a super sentimental, nostalgia obsessed, would-go-rob-all-the-banks-to-purchase-a-time-machine kinda guy. Really miss my childhood. As my time of youth is slowly disappearing, who knows what else I'll do or kill to get a time machine.

I've always wanted to be forever young.

But then I realize, it will take away it's uniqueness. There must be something else, as a comparison. With no warmth, we'll never know what's cold. Without happiness, we'll never figure the feeling of sadness. With no obstacles, we'll forever be naive and unappreciative. Without adulthood, youth is nothing.

Saying goodbye to your youth, forever, is a little challenging, well for me at least. But what eases me into the transition stage is the awesomeness of adulthood, where you can have greater control over more things (and face far more intricate challenges xD)

Nyeh.

So........

As of now, I'm going to maximize my remaining time as a youth-y dude.

3 remaining years?

Wait, 4.

Ah, the line's not drawn perfectly.

Make it 10!

Toy Story 2 (1999)

Ahh the ending~

Just relived my childhood. (';

A brilliant movie. (psst Azmi's recommendation: Go watch it now)
I think it may teach you a lot. Worth your time. (what time?)

And man, I remember it used to be one of my favourite PS1 game.

The Toy Story 2 game.

Played it a lot during Kindergarten and lower primary.
A lot coz.. I got stuck around the mid game at this irritating level.

And I gave up.

And................... I've just found the 10+ years old game disc.

Off to finish the fight that I started years ago.

Call me childish. Nyeh. I don't care.

Coz I am.

My eyes just won't close, seriously

I couldn't sleep, that much.

My brain's telling me to not waste time and do super productive(lol) things.

I think this song's a beast (:

The End

And I dream I'm on vacation 'cause I like the way that sounds
It's a perfect occupation, for me, yes it is
I don't mind being by myself if you don't see me around
It's the last good time, last good time in town

3am

And I'm still alive! Woooo.

Reminiscence

Back in the primary school days when there're not much of mp3's and internet,

the radio was a source of entertainment for our ears. You don't really have absolute control on its playlist (unless requested, etc). But when the DJ spins out the song that you love for the next track, it's just...

A wonderful feeling (:

This song was one of the songs that made me smile

when it's played on air back then. Hahaha. Surprised?

But it's just different.

Listening to it now on YouTube, and listening to it 10 years ago.

Seems like the more control we have over things, the less valuable they're perceived to become. I hope we remind one another about the value of our gifts and blessings. Nyeh, coz sometimes, we just tend to forget when we place too much focus elsewhere. :]

I've done what I can

And I'll do what I can.

The rest is beyond my control.

(:

Man..

I think he's just awesome.

Ziyad intro-ed the song.

I love the lyrics.

Eid Mubarak to my muslims friends.

Bye.

6th man dead

Bedok reservoir strikes again today.

Got some inter-religious prayer/blessing at its floating platform just now.

Nothing, in relation to all

This reminds me of Freddie Mercury & Queen at Wembley ages ago.

Of course, nothing beats Queen, but I think The Script's really superb here.

I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words
She'll listen this time even though they're slurred

So I dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but I all I heard was, nothing.

Danny O'Donoghue, maybe she's just too excited to speak.

Don't worry Danny.

Nothing that's truly worth knowing can be taught, or in this case, voiced.

Words will never be able to measure its value, and sincerity.

And I'm off to take a nap :l

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edit - P/S: Zzzzzz. No I'm not in it.

I don't care. She's the pink ranger.

She looks like Amy, aka Kimberly from the 1st series.

):

Jumper

A very good song to know.

Just in case if your friends wanna, y'know, jump.

Who knows. Might need it for people like you.

The Jumpers. x)

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend

Up in my head, deep in my heart, all over me

It has never been my 2nd home.

Sorry for the double post in a day

My relatives called me and told me not to go to Bedok Reservoir anymore.


5 Dead bodies in 5 months.

Described to be unnatural deaths.

3 were wearing red.

1 simply 'walked' into the middle of the reservoir and was

oblivious to the crowds calling him back.

They died near the same stretch of track.


Oooooo.


Shucks. This means that...





I must go there with a video cam tonight!!!!!!

HAHAHAAHAHHA. WHOOH.

It's coming

Ahh. Finally, it reached 60+m views.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Never mind the darkness, we can still find a way.

Coz nothing lasts forever,

even cold November Rain.

Just don't let go of the candle.

Don't you think this song is a depiction of A levels?

Dream on anything

Will I get the dream again?


Last night, it got me thinking real hard.

Honestly...

Are you guys like studying for 13 hours everyday?

I just. Can't.

Really worried.

Never forget your roots, background and past

Just finished rewatching Tarzan. And when's the last time I watched it?

Many many, many years ago.

Man, saying '10 years ago' makes me feel old. o.O

Can you say it?
"Oh, I did this TEN years ago"

Time flies.

Don't know if you'll believe me but, I can clearly recall every scene
from start to the end.

My No.1 Disney movie. Sorry Lion King, you're 2nd ;P

I find the story extremely meaningful, touching, and surrealistically... real.
Nah, I won't summarize it here. I won't be doing justice to it.

I'm glad that something made me think of watching it again.
Try watching a movie for the second time.

When you're older.
More experienced.
More knowledgeable.
Have newer perspectives.

Able to spot the subtle hints and find the deeper meanings.

Interesting huh. It's the same you. But you grow to be different.

For good? Or for the worse?

Ultimately, it depends on you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fav part. 0:00 to 3:30 <3

Miss the 90's ):

Just woke up.

Had to post this first thing in the morning. (:

I've deleted my distractions. & I'm proud of that.

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part.
For a hero’s strength is measured by his heart.

So so true.

Heh.

This great song reminds me of vs. Somehow. (:

And I'm off to vs to meet the people.

Azmi

You immature fool.

Just Too Busy Being Fabulous

Ahh yes. Personas.

A pose. An act. A facade. A cover story. A decoy.

More particularly, the act of superiority in front of selected ones.

One moment you're showing your true self.
But in the next, you're an innocent peacock prancing and strutting upon the stage.

Hey, the pigeons and sparrows aren't blind.

The demons within us - the most selfish, destructive and immature.

We wear personas as masks to hide these ugly tendencies from public view. The outer image of ourselves portrayed by the persona is usually the exact opposite of the inner image we hold of our own shadow.

There are those that fail to comprehend the social need to disguise their negative behaviour. Once triggered, their negative side is expressed directly.

And of course, there are those (smarter individuals) that find comfort in being free and uncontrolled, with their close ones - Negative sides gets exposed. Although these people you're close with do accept your flaws and weaknesses..

Man, it hurts like hell to see you wearing 'the persona' in front of others.

But.


There are people with the courage to fight the flaws within, eliminating them completely. Even with personas, they'll show their negative side to no one, not even to themselves. These weaknesses are known to fade away with time, if they're suppressed, controlled and actively improved overtime.

I'm blessed to meet respectable individuals whom I think are just..

Rock solid in terms of character.

I aspire to be like them, someday, one day, hopefully.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You may think that..

I'm cunningly portraying my innocent angle in my posts.

I'm fabricating these deceptions to make myself look good.

I'm seeking for a false sense of security in my own set of delusions.

Yep you're right. Maybe, I truly am.

I'll readily admit that.

;/

Everyone will get to watch his/her perfect show.

While some of us get to see the ugly props and imperfections, backstage.

But hey, who am I to assume that I'm not running my own set of shows?

How should I feel?

It's the last official week.

Journey!

"Oh girl, you stand by me"

What a melody.

(:

One day, your life will flash before your eyes.

Make sure its worth watching.

Like a Kid

Have you ever seen a small kid trying to get your attention?

Flaunting his gameboy, new shoes, or even a new skill.


What do you do then?


Smile. And look away.


Never ever, try to flaunt your own set of things to him.
You'll just be like him.

Brings me a Smile

P6 Bangkok Trip.

Aidil, Nazri, Zikry and me won 2nd place for some animation competition.
Free tix and hotel stay. 3D2N with our pri school teacher, Ms Haryati.

(:


Reality check;

Sigh.

Thankful

Please don't view me differently when you read this.

I've never tasted good results before in my JC life.
I'll always remember how I try to make words out of D E S and Us with my friends. Sigh, the typical heck care attitude and "I'll do this later (right..)"

But now, I'm really really thankful that my effort is paying off after seeing A&B.
Well, for just two subjects though. Hahaha.

If I can do that for these subs, I'll be able to do the same for the remaining subs too.

Sounds easy enough :/ Sigh.

And similarly, to those out there who are being traumatized and disappointed by your prelim results..


If a failure like me can do it, the very more you should be able to do it too.


I may not be the right person to say this, but I believe that

if there's a will, there's definitely a way.

Be very careful though. Wants and wishes are different from actual desire and hunger. Learnt that through my time in sports.

Be honest to yourselves.





Oh and for those of you that are doing well, keep it up yeah. (:

Be the role model for the rest of us to follow.

With all hope and sincerity,


All the best guys.

Let's do it.

Let's smile together in the future.

Yep, another checkpoint reached

Changed my blog design.

Had this feeling of changing something.

So... nyeh, just needed that sense of a fresh start once again.

I kinda like it though. Don't know about you guys :D

By the way, working with html codes is so -__- Long time no touch me html codes ;P
Try placing your cursor at my name under "Yours Truly". Let it stay for like, 1sec.

HOHOHO.

Maybe I'll frequent change the pop-up text or something. Should be fun.

And..... sigh. School's back. Time to work hard.

Isn't She Lovely?

The Change

When I was a kid, I remember smiling to myself beside my window if there's a bright-blue sky. I couldn't really explain to myself at that point of time, as to why I'm so in love with this particular beauty. [:

This weather matched my nature & personality well in the past.

Carefree. Ever-joyful.

The unobstructed sky have this... odd effect of allowing me to do, say and act freely. Kinda didn't have to think for your actions. ;P

As we age with experience, things start to feel different.

Hmm, a long, slow, change?

Some of you might agree with me, some of you won't.

But through my perspective, all of us mature to have a different side.

No, no, not necessarily a dark side, or a negative side. Just a different side.

A side you would show only to your loved ones.
A side you would show to those who understand.
A side you would show to those sharing the same views.

Your true side? Nah, I won't label it that way.

I think most of us know by now that every little thing thing we do, will cause a butterfly effect.

The fear of being judged - We grow to be cautious, to be wary of our actions. But of course, the degree varies from person to person. xP

I know some of us here will want to view it as putting on a facade, or different masks. Some of us perceive individuals having different sides to be fake and dishonest to others and sometimes, even to him or herself.

Yes, of course, there are such people today, more so than in the past, especially with the invention of social media.

But we ought to understand the difference.

Fake vs Different side.

We're old enough to tell the difference by interacting with people.

But can we tell the difference when we, ourselves, do it?

I might have understood some things better today.

And I think I know the reason for the change of my preference.

I love overcast days now.

It's my new pictorial definition of tranquillity.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good luck for prelims everyone.

If you don't need luck, kindly pass it back to me k.

Need it more than all of you.

Pics credit: Katarina 2353

She's awesome.

Pillow

Hmmm.. Am I still in dreamland? How do I get back?

Which wormhole portal do I take to travel across time and space?
Will me body disintegrate if I take the portal and travel at the speed of light?

Why am I sitting dow..

Ooo. I remember now.

It's a little narcissistic (k fine, a lot) but, I kinda, like my bed hair.

#:D

I know Damien loves his bed hair too.

So Everyone should!
Yeah Everyone.
Woooooohhp!

Hahas sry guys. Just wana record this in my online diary.
Free backup system yo.

Off I go then. Zzzzz.

Purpose

You can't hide your selfish hunger for money. Nope, not from me.

You're a pretender.

You gave them excessive treatments.
You told them to come for useless consultations.
"How's your health? How do you feel after taking those medicines?"

They travel a distance just to see you, and.. that's all? Questions?

Oh and sorry, I didn't know asking simple questions can be so expensive.


Do you see your every move to be spinning gears of money production?

You're supposed to be life savers, you're supposed to be the ambassadors of hope. Being a master of health and treatments is worthless, if you don't possess the heart to serve with integrity and passion.

It's painful for us to see them bleeding unnecessarily because of mistakes done by unskilled nurses and docs. If lives are dependent on the machines you and your team are operating, it makes perfect sense for you to understand your tools, inside out.

Hmm, cheap labour? Life isn't, if you have yet to realize.

You see them disappearing, one at a time. Just wondering, do you feel a tiny bit of guilt when you witness death? Yes, it might have been their Time to leave. But what if it's due to your blindness and insensitivity?

I grew up studying your foolish steps, for years.

Don't use our young age as a factor for stereotypical discrimination.

Our feet are still too small to fit into your shoes, but hey, we're not blind.

Don't mind me asking, but, Is this the path that Singaporeans are slowly turnin' to?

I do acknowledge the fact that there are millions of respectable individuals out there. But what about the remaining majority? They seem to not give a crap about things.

Serving for money.
Helping for money.
Caring for money.

Teaching for money.
Improving lives for money.

Working for m...

Oh blimey, I'm a fool! Of course you do these jobs to survive, to support your own families.

But does it hurt to go the extra mile? Does it harm, to make people smile, with whatever things you do?

Yeah I'm far inexperienced.

But I have the heart to believe --

We shouldn't work for a pay, but work for a purpose.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh man, I feel like I'm targeting myself too. Hahas, starting to feel guilty.

Must have done something wrong in the past.

Sorry for the selfish post.

One Last

Today, we had our last P.E. - in our college life.
Soon, it will be our last day together as a class, and as a college.

I think we'll never mention it to one another, but I've this strong feeling that deep inside, 13/10 is going to be treasured and remembered regardless of how close, or how joyful you are in the class (:

And that particular day will come, when we'll stand up as a class, and move out
through the door, officially for the last time. ):

I've been through numerous 'lasts', and i've survived it.
But the feeling of experiencing 'the One Last', is too difficult for me to swallow - everytime.

Hahas, argh the usual ridiculous me.
That's life, why do you care so much abt these pointless details?

Hmmmmmm (:

Hahas.

Nostalgia's my closest buddy.

It will be with me till I perish from this land.

What about you? (:

When we're hungry..

One thing will keep us alive.

Yum. (:

Morals

Going down the yellow brick road..

Searching for answers you already have.
Desiring for things that have a lower value than your current possessions.

Setting sail towards an imaginary island, when the treasure you're looking

for is in your own backyard.

Does your future lie beyond the yellow brick road?

Hahas, silly me. Crystal balls don't exist.
But we do have a compass that can lead us to the right path.

Find it, and bring it with us.
We won't know when we'll need it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you'll listen.

To the song I mean.

Oh My

From Zb's blog.

[Disclaimer: This is not an original post, it's an article taken from Yahoo! News. Once in a while they actually give you good stuff. :P This one is very, very worth a read. ((: ]

Ever wondered what it is like to have Death staring straight in your eyes? Is there anything you will like to do or change before you draw your last breath? What if you have a family with young children and perhaps some precious time left? What would you do?

Here’s a sad but true story to be shared, about a loving dad and husband, who did what he could in the little time he was left for his family. From their country cottage filled with memories of Mandy Flanagan’s late husband Paul, she shared with us their story.

Paul, a teacher, who died of cancer at the age of 45 in November 2009, passionately believed his children, Thomas and Lucy, should have more than just fading photographs to remember him by. For the children were only five and one-and-half years old at the time of his passing. “There was nothing more important to Paul than being the best father he could be,” says Mandy.

“When he knew he was dying, there was no time for self-pity. He became absolutely focused on doing whatever he could to continue being a good dad to them throughout the years, even though he wouldn’t be here in person.”

Amongst his preparation included letters, filmed messages, future birthday presents and his personal chest of favorite books. “Each book is accompanied by a note to Thomas and Lucy explaining why Paul loved it, and how much he hopes they will too when they’re old enough to read it,” explains Mandy.

But perhaps all these gifts pales in comparison to a document titled “On finding fulfillment”, accidentally discovered on his laptop by Mandy. “I opened it and, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I discovered his bullet-pointed code to living a good and happy life,” says Mandy. And this list of 28 instructions was the very way Paul lived his life.

Addressing his children who were too young to understand the tragedy that was unfolding, Paul writes, ”In these last few weeks, following my terminal diagnosis, I have searched my soul and heart to find ways in which I can reach out to you as you grow up.

“I’ve been thinking about the matters in life that are important, and the values and aspirations that make people happy and successful. In my view, and you may well have your own ideas by now, the formula is pretty simple.

“The three most important virtues are: Loyalty, integrity and moral courage. If you aspire, friends will respect you, employers will retain you, and your father will be immensely proud of you. I am therefore giving you several pieces of advice. These are the principles on which I have tried to build my life and they are exactly those that I would have encouraged you to embrace, had I been able to.” “I love you very much. Never forget that.”

“He also wrote that they should never give up, and he certainly never did. He fought so bravely, so courageously, right to the end.”

Having been first diagnosed with skin cancer in 2004, where a birthmark on his chest had become malignant. The cancer was removed in November that year when their son Thomas was only a few months old. And after years of regular follow-ups, he was given the all clear in January 2008 when Mandy was expecting Lucy.

However a swelling that appears in May 2008 proved the cancer had spread to his lymph glands in his arms and neck shortly after. Even surgery and radiotherapy was not able to halt its progression. By March 2009, the cancer had spread to his brain and his condition was terminal.

“He never pitied himself,” says Mandy. “The diagnosis, and perhaps the drugs he was on, triggered a sort of mania. He suddenly had so much energy. While I lay awake upstairs worrying, Paul would work through the nights, determined to get his affairs in order.”

Having meticulously organized the family finances, arranged his own funeral, buying presents for their children, their dining room was soon filled piles of shoeboxes filled with paperwork, hand-written letters and DVD messages for his family and friends.

With Lucy christened last summer, she now has one godmother and nine godfathers. “He wanted his friends to have a permanent tie to his family, I think,” says Mandy. “And if Lucy couldn’t have her father, a fantastic team of godfathers was the very least she deserved.”

With his passing at home, some eight months after his terminal diagnosis, Mandy was certain he’ll be able to rest peacefully knowing that he had left the best legacy any father could. “When some people are told they have just a few months to live, they decide their life won’t be complete until they’ve bungee-jumped off Sydney Harbor Bridge or seen the Grand Canyon. But that wasn’t Paul. All that was important to him was right here. He lived and died by his own rules, and I know he had found his fulfillment.”

We all have a finite amount of time in this world, some less than others. And it is not the amount of time, rather how we use it which truly matters. Ever so often we get absorbed by our daily rat race and tend to take our loved ones for granted. Perhaps it is time we slow down and re-examine ourselves before it is too late.

A FATHER'S RULES FOR FINDING FULFILLMENT

Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.
Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.

Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular. I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.

Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.

Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.

Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.

Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.

Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.

Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.

Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.

Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.

Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.

Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to . . . which is why I have chosen them carefully.

Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.

Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.

Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.

Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.

Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.

Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.

Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.

Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.

Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.

Look after your body and it will look after you.

Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!

And finally, cherish your mother, and take very good care of her.

I love you both with all my heart.
Daddy x

Timely Reminder

Here we go!

Fasting month (:

Victorian Spirit

It lingers on.

The Victorian Challenge I had a few days ago was simply, meaningful.
Just you, the strong breeze, the moon, the imminent sunrise.
And the flag.

(plus a grp of awesome ppl at the checkpoint ofc) (:

I should be grateful.

It has been quite some time since..

I don't usually show my emotions and problems.

I just cried, in front of my mom.
She didn't scold me at all, it's... just her words.

Talking to me about her only wish, which is to see me smile in the future.
With her current condition, she's really unsure if she can hold on for that long.

I don't know man. I've been quietly eating up all these sorrows in my house.
Maybe it's the reason tt I'm diverting to excessive 'de-stressing' hobbies of mine?

No one will understand, especially those that sees me everyday.
Hmm, maybe they have their own problems, and chose not to reveal them?
Or maybe I'm just fated to be tested during my early years, Here.

It's my fault anyways, since this was brought up after telling her about my results.
It's the first time I prepared ahead of time (lol 1.5 week), studying, for my JCTs.
But guess what, I did worse. As compared to my classmates AND my prev exams.

I usually don't feel that disappointed or anything, but this time, it really hurts.
Gosh, Azmi seriously, is this yr first time talking like this? Maybe. My bad.

Maybe I've been a liar to myself and my friends as the years pass by.
Maybe I've been tricked into my own subconscious world, thinking that everything's the same as last time, when I can do what I want and give a heck, and still achieve my goals.

Now's not the same, Azmi.
It's tougher.
And you've been stagnant all these years, while others grew steadily as they are aware of the ever-changing types and difficulty of obstacles.

You've disappointed your parents, your tutors, those who cares abt you, and most importantly, Yourself.

Yes, non-academic activities do bring you knowledge, opens up your eyes and mind to the world, and can even sometimes set your moral compass straight, reminding you of what must be done.

But you're doing it wrong mate, it's different now.


Heck this sounds gay, but my tears dried up.

I know, I know you readers might be laughing at me, my foolishness, stubborn attitude, etc.

Well, sir, ma'am, may I join you too, in laughing at my current self,
as I pray and prepare for change.

All seems good. Well, mostly.

I'm really thankful to be enjoying the current situation I'm in right now.

Hmm, I guess marking for future nostalgia is a good way to cherish your present self.
If you know what I'm talking abt. (:

Haha pardon me for this short post.

Guess we don't really need eventful stuffs to brighten up our lives.

Zen style appreciation.

Memories

I love this song. Good ol primary school days.

Now, it's not just the tune, it's the meaning of the song.

The lyrics are seriously cool. Coz it has a heavy link to nature. :)

The Noose

I think everyone should watch The Noose, starting from their debut episode.

They capture even the sensitive issues, deliver them in a subtle way, and are still able to dive deep into your conscience to set you thinking.

Me love.

MCS Camp

I was sad, after realizing that it will be my last overnight camp in my college.

BUUUUUTTT.

It was fun!

Guitars, songs, SEPHIA, ghosts, and of course, the Semarak Temasek itself.

What's more important is that, I felt a sense of kampung unity. Don't know if I'm imagining stuffs. Yes, although we must still maintain the high level of racial harmony here, we musn't forget our brothers and sisters that share the same belief and culture.

Sigh. I wana go back to my kampung.

Long Forgotten

At times when you need an earthly guide, to knock some sense into you and wake you up from a slumber of illusions, there's no better to place to go to, other than the road you've walked before.

A checkpoint where you can fall back on, and head out to a different road.

I must admit, I'm a different person now. And I don't see the positive portrait of it.

Recently, small sparks of doubts, were silently questioning my own mind, my own body, and my own soul. But the worse part of it was, I couldn't find the answer, as my ego provided no solution.

Till some small ripples moved my wandering self to visit this blog again.

The ever-familiar background song, recording and replaying glimpses of emotions. The subtle meaning of the chosen colours. The numerous reflections and posts written.

The invisible portrait, painstakingly corrected since the beginning.

I'm glad I've found my way back to a comfortable checkpoint.

Sorry if I'm not making sense, haha it's not my first.

I don't think anyone will visit this blog ever again, and it won't bother me. But I know one person who will drop by, and make himself, hopefully, a better man.

It has been long forgotten, unfortunately, but I remember it now.

Please?

Time and inspiration -

Come to me.
Allow me to blog once again.

Stare what stare la sia

I need to know.

Am I the only one who just stares blankly at the screen,

for a long period of time,

thinking.. of what to do next?

Heh, going down ard 1am tonight :}

Virtual Illusions

I feel intimidated by people around me.

This perception, that everyone's a better individual.

So if you've noticed a quieter me,

I think that's the reason.

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Class tee.

Banner.
Flyers.

Feels like the old secondary school days.

Anything but homework.

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It's hard to boast about yourself to your dad and

uncle if you know they were way better than you.