Today's a lovely day

Dark, dull, grey, cool.

I'm sitting on my kitchen chair in my room. Samurai's been sleeping on my computer chair beside me. I've been hearing a familiar baby myna's chirp. In fact I see him at the top of a tree. He's so high up. The cool wind is swaying the tree. I hope that's Jack.

Flash. Miracle. Strong.

FURASSHU! MIRAKURU! SUTORONGU!

Against the world

I have been imagining a small lake, surrounded by casuarinas and other trees with gentle-dull looking leaves. Crystal clear water. Shallow depth. Rocks and pebbles near the edge so that I can walk comfortably without any mud slowing me down.

I want it to be drizzling when I get there. Each droplet will be a reminder on its own. I need to see the lovely tiny worlds of greeneries submerged under clear rain puddles. The contrast of underwater green with dark brown soil is beautiful. Will there be tiny fish in those puddles?

I will climb a tree to see the fish in the lake and catch the sunset. I have always wanted to climb a tall tree. The wind will sway the trees and rock me gently to sleep.

I want to be there alone, to escape from myself.

Evil has been brewing in my heart.

I'm drained.

Pride Rock

The huge open field beside Masjid Alkaff is now being dug up and re-flattened. Its reddish soil aroma reminds me of something familiar though - Pusara aman? Sato kogyo bendemeer DTL drill? The building phase of Taman Pelangi at Johor? Mmm.

The evening was pretty. The wind lightened my breathing. The birds gave me company. The setting sun was subtly beautiful and modest enough to highlight the huge, semi-barren trees. Plenty of birds were foraging the reddish soil to have their end-of-day feast. The crows settled on the most barren tree. The mynas were doing their 'reporting my location & finding my pals' chirps. The swifts (or swallows) and pigeons were doing their common quiet things. I went up to a pair of white-and-teal-coloured kingfishers. They were 3 metres away. Lovely colours. While walking home, a handful of sparrows flew to a patch of grass beside me. It's the super fine natural grass that looks nice, and super fine. Did you know the normal blade of grass (not the super fine grass) is sharp enough to cut your fingertips?

Anyway, my cats have been lovely to me. I'm thankful.

Home

I am extremely sad and embarrassed.

I don't believe in hope right now.