Sincerity

The moon's humility has left me speechless yet again at this hour.

I shall go to sleep.

And let my soul relearn what it truly means to be horizontal.

Everybody's walkin' like the new kid in town

For strength, we seek for our weaknesses.
In strength, we see our weaknesses.
With strength, we understand our weaknesses.

- - - 

There's talk on the street; it sounds so familiar
Great expectations, everybody's watching you
People you meet, they all seem to know you
Even your old friends treat you like you're something new

Johnny come lately, the new kid in town
Everybody loves you, so don't let them down

There's talk on the street, it's there to
Remind you, that it doesn't really matter which side you're on.
You're walking away and they're talking behind you
They will never forget you 'til somebody new comes along

Oh, my, my
There's a new kid in town
Just another new kid in town

I tried. I shall do better.

Yesterday was a tiring day for me. I think, and I hope, I was sincere. Perhaps I just didn't know how to remind them of the reason why I volunteered to open up my place. I didn't know how to explain the things they should or shouldn't do. My patience was being tested. I got offended multiple times. Please be kind and mindful. You don't know what's going on. It was draining.

My apologies, friends.

But thank you (:

I feel

I feel young, and I feel old.
I feel like a stranger, and a familiar soul!

What a blessing.

Speaking of blessings, the semester's starting. It's time to hit the road. I'll use my feet this time. I wonder what it feels like being barefooted again.

Today, I turned back time with the sound of music.

The hills are alive with the sound of music
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music
My heart wants to sing every song it hears

My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds
That rise from the lake to the trees
My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies
From a church on a breeze

To laugh like a brook when it trips
and falls over stones on its way
To sing through the night like a lark
who is learning to pray

I go to the hills when my heart is lonely
I know I will hear what I've heard before
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music
And I'll sing once more

- - -

I remember now, the hills are alive! Very much alive!

2015 - Alive, with the one who lives

I learned a little something last year. I truly learned a little something. I learned that there are lots to be learned, about living, and dying. I also learned that 2015 is the most significant year in my life thus far.

It is. It really is.

My apologies, words are failing me. If you truly want to understand, here:

 

Hope it helps.

Owl. I'm an owl.

- - -

Something's weird. I need to fix myself.

Self-empathy.

Habseligkeiten

(n.) few, paltry belongings one finds special, whose values evolve from personal meanings and from the happiness and sentiment of having these certain objects.

Pleasant

There's something uniquely peaceful about this midnight rain. It makes us understand.

Thank you.

The first three for the fire

Be aware of our subconscious mind. Be in continuous control of our intentions. Purify the heart. Let it be our thoughts. Then let it move our limbs. And if we do speak, let it be our only voice.

I'm truly afraid of myself.

Must. Should. Like to. Shouldn't. To each his own. Dots. Covers. Design. Content. Inside. Naive. Truth. Oblivious. Lies. Lapses. Resentment. Precious. Flower. Poverty. Correcting. Learn. Example. Hasad. Breathe. Kibr. Wrong. Patience. Not right. Test. Words. Preference. Taste. Look. Hear. No. Listen. Control. Ground. Feet. Sky. Head. Eyes. Chest. Three. Touch. Tap. Faith. Gentle. Understand. Wisdom. Silence.

What is right. What is accepted. What is wrong. What is rejected.

Insaan.

A forgotten lullaby

Perfection can never be shown, only discovered.
And only discovery itself, defines perfection in this world.

2 years ago. Station. The time I believed I was the strongest version of myself. I still hid from my guys when I had to keep things real within me.

Perhaps it's a little different now. Or,

Perhaps we're made to forget and choose what we wish to remember.

Free swensens meal thank you so so very much ziyad

PYP 1993 Photo Documentation Mod Finals Question 2.7:

Give some thoughts about the Ziyad-ness of the photo below.

I don't remember ever seeing this expression from him. Doesn't seem to be a 'ziyad' expression at all actually. Hmm.

No doubt, he seems to be thinking of something. An unpleasant memory? A sticky situation in a conversation? Choosing his words to paint the right picture vs the accurate picture? There's an essence of seriousness and deep thought in this photo. However, what's notable is his slight attempt to almost.. smile. It's not a proper smile. But he's trying to. He seems to be in this very brief uncertainty of wanting to know what to feel, while subconsciously thinking of what to inform/project. This might be the reason why I don't really remember this particular expression. It might be very brief. Too brief. Is it human nature to not notice this brief moment of change? Is it human nature to keep this moment brief? Seems like a naturally ideal window to look into another person's soul - his transition. The subconscious transition of one state / emotion / thought / sentiment to another. Of hiding and showing. Of doubts and faith. Of knowing and finding.

The subconscious mind is more truthful than the conscious one.

What truth is he hiding?

Perhaps I fail to see him in this state before. Perhaps he's not actively concealing this transition phase. It's just natural for him. It's natural for his subconscious mind to keep this raw and exposed transition phase hidden from view. Why though?

The subconscious mind is more vulnerable than the conscious one.

Is this the ziyad I know? Hmm.

- - -

In other news,

HUAAAARRGHHH MANNYYAAAK SHHAAAAGG AHHHH!!!!!!

In other news,

Can't wait for exams to end. Hehehhh. (':

In other news,

Eh what kind of post is this ah. Azmi ngantuk eh.

47:(29-31)

Or do those in whose hearts is disease think that Allah would never expose their [feelings of] hatred? And if We willed, We could show them to you, and you would know them by their mark; but you will surely know them by the tone of [their] speech. And Allah knows your deeds. And We will surely test you until We make evident those who strive among you [for the cause of Allah ] and the patient, and We will test your affairs.