Truth and Relevance

A couple of days back, I received the letter I wrote to myself a year ago in Sabah. It was a letter that took me the whole of Solo Night to complete, separated from my peers by the jungle. A letter that was written with the essence and strength of the ever so neglected solitude.

I took time to draft the 7 pages of content here, but I've decided it's not appropriate for it to be seen. Sharing a personal perspective is already challenging. Sharing a letter of guidance crafted for oneself adds a whole different level of complexity. Purpose will grow diluted. Sincerity will be betrayed.

I'm growing.

Oddly enough, the longer someone knows me, the more I have to prove. Our human brain is designed to draw quick conclusions. Glancing at the combination of texture, shape and colour of a tree tells us that it is indeed a tree. Spotting dark clouds over our heads alerts us of the impending rain. It is our nature to conclude - and judge. A judgement may be ignored at the end, but its initial existence will always be created in someone's mind before being controlled. I fear being judged. But as wild as it may seem, I feel this fear is my fundamental companion.

With that being said, I wish to share a tiny, probably insignificant, portion of the letter that is rather cryptical and intriguing.

"My dear friend, I look up to you as how my past friends have looked up to me. I am your special friend who has given his all and gains nothing from it. But the beauty of this friendship is that you don't have to thank me for what you've achieved. This friendship is one-of-a-kind in this world. A genuine friendship that will not be seen and judged by many. I hope you can be the same friend to others when time calls for it. I, am your past, positively wondering about your present, and placing full faith in you to write a better future."

I still hope that this letter will one day be understood by others, without having them to read or hear about it.