Grow up

I am uncertain if anyone finds worth in my words, because I came to realize that I don't. This feeble heart has forgotten its own weight and has been distracted with the hope of external replenishment. The love and self-respect I used to have for myself have been tainted by the very same person who believes in the value of sincerity to oneself. This unsettled longing for support, for empathy, for respect, for genuine admiration, for understanding, is it a sign of weakness? The beacon of contentment crumbles in the hands of others. We can depend on others but we must be brave to take responsibility for our own soul. We must have the courage to look within and have maturity in dealing with our hidden world. This corrupt heart yearns to be better but it elevates itself emptily under an apparent veil, instead of lowering its roots into a foundation. How noble. How misguided.

They say it is a blessing, and a curse to be a sensitive being. Little things, they are big to a dwarfed soul which has grown to appreciate the minute grandeur of a mindful heart. Being moulded to live in the realm of subtlety, silent sacrifice and hidden sincerity is not easy. It used to be better when the occupant acted upon his values, regardless of the pain, humiliation and extrinsic influence. Yes, the strength of silence and patience leaves in the inner presence of ignorant comfort, pride and unmindfulness. I believe these traits come into existence within us at the instant when a positive quality gets instilled as they are a pair, and we ought to take effort in realizing the things we subconsciously feed. I feel like some of us are losing sight of not only our destination, but our paths. Everything seems unfair to us yet we still take things for granted. How genuine. How deluded.

"One day when you're older, people will do it to you".

My mother used to say it when she gets hurt by me many years ago. It seems like a mother's prayer for her child often gets answered. And an accepted prayer will always bring benefit. InsyaaAllah. Be mature and have contentment.

(:

(smiley face here cause I just finished staring at my kinda new whatsapp wallpaper)