Windless

The winds - I don't feel them now.
The scent of ozone before the rain hasn't been apparent too.
Tough times.

It was a good ending to my academic journey. My FYP presentation went well. I was able to connect with the moderator and received positive feedback from my professor and the junior who sat in. All the struggles during practice disappeared and everything went smoothly. The moment I exited the room, I knew it was God's help.

I am also thankful for all the support I received throughout my university life. If you refer to my 26th Nov 2017 post, I dedicated a classical piece called "Misty". It's a fitting piece for the 3 most important individuals in my life for the concern they showed me on that day. But ultimately, Alhamdulillah for all the blessings, especially the ones I have been receiving lately.

Despite being a slave full of sins, He still nourishes me with blessings that propel me forward. This year, I've tried my best to live by remembering "Verily, the remembrance of Allah is the greatest" (usually the 2nd last verse of khutbahs). Such a humbling reminder. A comforting one too. Regardless of the blessings or challenges presented, everything gets simplified into one advice.

Giving advice is not easy for me. I'm generally scared that I will be tested to be a man of my word when struck with the same adversity. I've experienced these tests sufficient times to be wary. This month, I shared the same advice to two individuals. True enough, the test came two days later.

I believe SCDF is the right choice. Apart from the stability and income for my current and future family, I know that I need a genuine purpose in my life. It is also a career surrounded by gratitude. I'll be frank - I was privileged enough to be offered a scholarship from them, but I didn't accept it because I disliked how certain things ran in the management level, especially when it came to implementations of administrative and ground matters. 4 years later, I realized most of the sectors are like that. No organisation can be perfect. I have faith in the younger generation of leaders.

I was told to undergo training again for 7 months during both interviews, as I have expected. But a few days ago, I received surprising news - You are not required to go through RCC. You will report directly to a Fire Station.

What on Earth.

It's been 4 years. I'm out of touch. New equipment. New procedures. New appointments. My fitness and body conditioning need work. Please forgive me for saying this - during my training 6 years ago, I took the course seriously and ended up being the best nsf in my batch, which led to the Central FS posting. I was posted based on merit. People knew I was capable. I wasn't empty. On-the-ground. From there, it was easier to build upon the mutual respect and relationships. Now, without this training, I know it's slightly more difficult. And what about the station posting? I hope it is at least based on distance from my home.

All I wanted to do after graduating from university was to be carefree for a while. The plan was to just enter training for 7 months and progressively prepare myself for real responsibilities next year. Oh well, I must be grateful for this blessing. I'm thankful that the commissioner and his team trust my capabilities. My parents are extremely happy I won't be in camp for 7 months. I won't have to worry about them or my cats (specifically cat litter issues because my parents vowed not to touch it). I'll have to eat more and train every night this Ramadhan. My ex-colleagues are volunteering to give me a refresher course, training notes and updates too. Allah knows what's best for me. Alhamdulillah ‘alaa kuli haal.

And... I just answered my parents salaam by saying "Alhamdulillah". Awkward.

Oh wow it's dark. The smell of ozone! The coolness of the winds! They're back!