No way Azmi..

I'm really feeling bad and depressed right now. I'm extremely worried about my CA English marks. I'm very worried about my grandfather. I'm very worried about my father's "non-stop working" condition to shelter me and most importantly, my mom.

After I send her to dialysis, I went to my auntie's house to see my grandfather's condition. He's recovering, a good sign. 10 mins later, I fell asleep. I'm super tired and very ill. Need sum rest.

Around 4pm, I woke up. I stoned for a while, then I panicked. My mom. I'm suppose to pick her up. My dad is working out sum stuffs and I NEED to pick her up. I called her, she was very disappointed. She didn't show it but I knew she was disappointed seeing me as an irresponsible boy. A boy who simply couldn't take care about other ppl and even himself.

My mom can't walk properly as she just went for a major operation of her knee cap and leg bones. So she need to use clutches. Dialysis - both her kidneys are not functioning anymore.

AND, basically, when I walked home, I saw her alighting a cab, limping. I ran towards her, kiss her hand, and said "Im sorry Ma. I..." She interrupted my sentence and juz smiled kindly at me. "I understand. Nvm. Im ok." That's a damn big thing for me. Argh, nvm, I'm just writing to an Artificial Intelligence which basically amplifies my words. No big deal. To be honest wif you guys, I'm crying now. You will rarely see me cry. If I cry, its either bcoz of the mistakes that I've done or bcoz of sumone in an unfortunate or sad situation.

For this case, I'm crying bcoz of both reasons. And, I don't need "cheer-up" thingys. I hate those things. I prefer to be alone, far away from humans, just alone. You guys wanna know sumting? Previously, my ambition is to be a successful farmer [not in S'pore -.-, Perth maybe] Those kind of countrysides... I wanna be close with nature and have very few ppl around me. Now that's what I call "inner peace".

Ok, ok ok. Coming back to the real world. I have MT exam 2mrw. Bio & Physics Exams on Thurs. Flag bearing for Senior Leader's Investiture on Thurs. RGS Invest on Fri. AeroSpace on Sat. Put up designs for my class's notice board. AEP competition. Spectrum Magazine, I'm basically the editor and writer. Talk with Mr Lee about my transfer to IT-Club. And there are loads more.



Turn your lights down low

And pull your window curtains;

Oh, let your light come shining in

Into my old life again...